Never once did you stop to think about how we feel. You push us around with no regards of the effort we have put in. I don't mind change if it's warranted for but if changes are made just 'cause you cannot make up your silly minds, there's only too much we can take. You'll lose all the good ones one by one and then there'll be none. Still i don't think you'll even care or realise. I detest you. I really do.

You opened up three wards in June for H1N1. We only knew about the deployment the day before or on that day we go to work. We heard it not from you, but from our colleagues. That I can do. I'm a nurse and i don't mind. One and a half month into it - H1N1 was too widespread. Instead of allowing us to return to our original wards, we stayed on permanent. You said we needed new wards.

Two months later, you start closing the wards that were needed. I heard of nurses crying. Morales low. Then we start hearing another ward would close down. About the same time an email was circled out stating that we at 61 (us and our new colleagues we've gotten used to working with) would move down to 31. In that emailed circled out all over, the move was scheduled for the 28th. On the 23rd, you walk in, high and mighty. Telling us everything's changed. We'll no longer function as a ward. We'll no longer work together. Instead we're breaking us up and moving us all over.

This when we've grown to be comfortable.

You don't see the pain we grow tru. It wasn't easy looking after the H1N1s. You threw us into deep waters. We didn't know what to do. But we got tru it. It was supposed to be temporary, you told us. We'd be back in our own wards once it tides over. But when it did - there were new plans. You decided that there weren't enough respiratory wards to handle the influx of patients. 61 became permanent. Two months after, when we've picked up. When we're working and functioning well. You decide to split us up. Temporary again and then we'll be back together, that's what you say. I know better than to trust you on that.

And these are just the changes I've experienced, The changes my ward went and is going tru. I've yet to chronicle the changes other wards have gone through.
I have yet to type of the massive internal change of system you have scheduled us for in the coming week.

Authority is useless when you misuse it.
It's useless when you've shown time and time again how you don't deserve the respect you're credited for.

I've come to love my colleagues, my ward, the surroundings, and you take it all away. Just like that. And then you still expect us to bring up the service sector of the hospital. How do we do that when we ourselves are dissappointed so many times.

How can i desire to work hard and be loyal and bring glory to you when i don't see the reason to.

I no longer respect you. You don't deserve any from us.

You've made me hate the idea of going to work. I haven't stopped crying. My friends tell me not to waste my tears, but i can't help it when i'm feeling this hurt and sad.

It's been a long time since but i've started tearing again now, when i think about work. It's draining me out physically and mentally.