"You are my strength, strength like no other. Reaches to me"

im starting to get really tired, am into my 4th week of attachments now. all i can type is that, attachments has drained all energy from me. The shifts, the journey.. is draining, and honestly im not doing much and yet i can be this tired.

So, its no wonder that just recently ive been thinking.. about me, about being a nurse long term. Is this what im gonna do for years and years? Or is there something else and if it is something else, why then has God placed me in nursing now...

When i was in Sec 4, rena took me out for our fellowship/bible study/talk at Mac's, and she stopped short, looked at me and said "you've lost your fire, your eyes, its distant", funny and a real wonder how our eyes can tell so much, it tells people whether we are happy, whether we are at peace, whether we are hurting, or even empty. Our lips lies, but our eyes cannot. How true the term "eyes are windows to the soul"

And im feeling that way now.. living day by day, getting the journeys to and fro the hospital done, getting the shifts done, getting the callbells done, ive lost the joy in doing what im doing, things have gotten mundane, maybe cos i allowed it to become this way.
When rena told me that, i couldnt disagree because it was true, i myself knew (the early to middle part of that year, i was completely far away from God). Tho' i couldn't see my eyes, i knew it was empty, because i felt that way. And maybe the reason why im feeling the same now is cos i havent been running to His rest daily.

Chris told me a couple of weeks ago (while praying for us maybe), that he felt that im thinking that the world around me is changing so fast that i find myself not being able to keep up; being pushed into attachments/working life so soon, the transition to adulthood, the thoughts of what's happening in my future, knowing and wanting to do better than the way im doing things currently..
but he also said that tho' my world is changing fast, God never changes.
Im praying that, ill regain my joy. Yea, maybe im still unsure/uncertain, but in whichever area that God has placed me in now, ill give my best because tho im uncertain and do not know, He is certain and He knows.

You are God alone
You are not a god created by human hands
You are not a god dependent on any mortal man
You are not a god in need of anything we can give
by Your plan, that's just the way it is

You are God alone
From before time began
You were on Your throne
You are God alone
Right now
In the good times and bad
You are on Your throne
You are God alone

You're the only God who's power none can contend
You're the only God who's Name and
praise will never end
You're the God who's worthy of
everything we can give
You are God, that's the way it is

Unchangeable
Unshakeable
Unstoppable
That's who You are