"You are my strength, strength like no other. Reaches to me"

if only.

after the accident yesterday, i had alot of "if only-s" going thru' my mind. if only we got to the van earlier, if only there wasn't a need to go THOP for the meeting yesterday.. if only, if only, if only.

i sang this song earlier on sunday before the incident happened, while leading the children: "I walk by faith, each step by faith, to live, by faith, i put my trust in You. Every step i take is a step of faith, No weapon formed against me, shall prosper, every breath i take is a breath of faith, if my God is for me. Then who shall be against me"

and despite knowing this/singing this words,
i'll be very very real here..
i asked God when i reached home, why did this have to happen, why must the wounds be on my face, why couldn't it be elsewhere, like perhaps on my arms. why why why. to the point where i was actually blaming God.


As daddy was driving me to Mt. A later in the evening, hearing daddy speak about what happened, remembering all that God had done for me.. i don't know how to put this in words.
but i know His grace is still upon me, as what Amanda pointed out : its a good thing my eye wasn't hurt (the wounds are below my left eye). It could have been far worse, but God protected me, He protected all of us.

I'm still struggling, truth be told. I'm frightened. But i'll just leave it in His hands.
Through out the journeys back and forth yesterday and today from Mt. A, i sang the songs that i chose to lead for the children's service.

Maybe its also not by chance, that God placed this two songs in my heart the week before. (the song above and "the joy of the Lord is my strength") to comfort me, to remind me.

8 stitches was done.. and my left eye's bruised. I seriously look like i came out from a fight. Oh well, it will heal..