His Joy will be my strength. =)

i still can't believe that im a year 3 student already. don't feel like one, but i hope i do look like one.

Walked into the school yesterday and felt so much like the year 1s.Life in poly seems to past much faster than in sec school.Had 3 hours of break just now, so went to AMK hub to have lunch. We were talking about a number of things until we moved on to the topic of "what happens after graduation".

Nursing was not my first choice, it was one of my bottom few on the list. i actually cried when i knew i was going into nursing instead of early childhood.But i felt that maybe nursing is what God wants me to do, or if not a skill that i would need in future (perhaps in the mission field =p). Well, i'm not grudgingly going through this course or hating it.
I thank the Lord that He gave me the ability to love what i'm doing now. Seeing the patients smile brings such joy. I love the grannies and the grandpas in the ward. i teared when i saw a grandpa tear. i laughed when they said cute stuff. Nursing is without a doubt, a beautiful career. A nurse cannot think about himself/herself anymore, it's all about the patients. At the same time it is tiring, it is draining mentally & physically, it is HARD work. ok, so, maybe it's not that beautiful after all for nurses ourselves, but to the patients it is, because we are a blessing to them. If i remembered correctly, that was what dad said to me, being a nurse will allow me to love people with Christ's love, it allows me to be a blessing to them. It allows me to be a vessel for Him.
Every time i enter into a ward i ask God to help me, to let me be a blessing but most of all to give me such a love for my patients.

However, i do get tired, of course i love nursing.. but its not easy at all. i do wake up some days and ask myself why am i in nursing , ask God "why did you put me in nursing?'.. Nursing in the hospital is tough, the training is tough, schooling is tough. All the work, the assignments, the attachments in the hospital, even the thought of working the merciless shifts NEXT year (gosh!) as a staff nurse makes me sooo weak.
Yesterday i was writing down the dates of the upcoming tests in my diary after our teacher informed us. yes, the first day of school and they are telling us about our tests. Was a lil' stressed already, because the tests were so near, and we have to cram all the topics within a few weeks before the tests. I turned the pages to the month of May, and there was this verse written on the top of the page.

Nehemiah 8:10: "The joy of the Lord is your strength."

Before that i was filling my head with "goodness, so much work, what is this school trying to do laaa, crazy, it's so tiring, so many things how can i cope?"

God is good yea? and this is how i see it: He KNEW i needed that encouragement especially for the month of May. It was PRINTED on the page. He KNEW i will be filling my mind with those thoughts, He KNEW i'd be tired particularly this few months. And His word, written in nice little fonts, made me remember that He will give me the strength. Not just strength but joy too. =) Made me remember of my prayer to Him when im entering into weeks of assignments/attachments when i will tell Him "You put me here Lord, i didn't ask for it, i didn't ask for nursing, so see me through this. Give me the wisdom, the strength, help me to pass."
So this will always be a constant prayer, a promise that i want to uphold God to, a promise that He has never failed.
Because it was the EXACT same prayer i prayed when he tranferred me from normal acad to express stream in sec sch. i didn't want to, heh, i even went into a childish tantrum. I did not to so well in sec 3, had alot of F9s. One subject that i knew it was indeed Him providing me the wisdom was POA (principle of accounts). That was my famous F9 subject, seriously, i got F9 for almost all of my exams/tests, i made my form teacher so upset with me. =( But for O'levels i got not just a pass, but a B4..=) and i only started studying like wheeennn...only 1-2 and- a-half mths before the exam! it wasn't me, it was Him.

I prayed that prayer and he saw me through secondary school.=) He put me in nursing, so as tiring as it gets when i start working, as stressful/scary/uncertain of what i will do and how things will go.. i know that He WILL see me through it and His joy WILL be my strength.

"The joy of the Lord is my strength
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Eat the fat and drink the sweet
Send portions to them who are weak
The joy of the Lord is my strength

This day is holy to the Lord
Don't be grieved but shout for JOY."